==
i guess its really good and bad in way to have the internet connection till so late.
Good its because it open more doors for me to come online and get in touch with
whichever i want to be in touched which, not so good, because you'll get to learn that there are things which you hope you can do, but you need to accept the one true fact: you are physically away. and something that really stuck me so much after reading some entries from some friends who have came for this trip with me.
we've all come to this stage of life where we are used to use the surface to hit the surface. its either we wouldnt allow the real us to come into contact with the people we chose to be opened to, or we would limit things we would do or say to them. and i've come to realise that many of us are looking for a Friend. and that one true Friend seems like a standing ground, who never fails to encourage you in the darkest moments, maybe even not the darkest.. just a Friend when you needed him and yes. He is there.
we tend to really feel so upset over things that are happening around us, be it people who we cant accpet, surroundings that fail to met our standards or even people we see. However, we learn that at the end of the day, we became grieved over it, angry over it. And Every single day, it seems to pile up, nothing has gone down... everything has went up.. to the peak.
AND worst still, nothing changed. Not even the situation.
someone told me : ' dont you realise that after we've come here no one seems to be happy? '
i was finding so much reasons to debate with that someone, but ya.. I have to agree. Alot of the people here, are really unhappy. because a happy person is a contented person.
what is so important to them, their family and friends and even their boyfriends, became distant away from them. when the true fact is that we are only 5 hrs of plane ride and 3 hrs of bus ride away. But the question is, why do everyone feel so distant?
outside this room, or even within the room, there lies 4 masks. masks of not willing to show your hurts, your anxieties, your wounds your troubles your pains, and your... unseen tears.
you know who i am refering to. it could be you. you felt restless and hopeless, and maybe some nights the extention of the internet could not be a good thing at all. You felt like you could see the even more distance within you and your loved ones. you worry they might worry about you, but i tell you.. those who really loves you are really those who just want the best for you, if you're unhappy for a day they are unhappy for a day. you ever believe such a thing called telepathy? there are times i need no utter a word and yet, my mum knew wads going on...i thank God for mummy and I really love my parents alot.
FAMILY means - Father And Mother I Love You
This trip made me learn and see, that despite the seas of distance and raging seas of challenges, who really stood by me and believed in me. I am glad I saw a group of people. My parents and those i would lay down my life for.
My mum, for the first time in her 44 years learnt how to use MSN, Web-cam and icons in just 1 month when i was away. I remember about the times in the past where she would just tell me how she wished she is computer literate but she's not. I am truly amazed how distance taught mum to say "I Love You" where she only knew how to reply " me too". I am so loved, because I love her too.
My dad, always quietly showing his concern but Dad.. i just want to say I really love You. And you are the best Daddy in this earth. Thank You. :)
There are so many things that our parents could have done for us and yet we dont know, because they just didnt say it.
Many times, especially when we are overseas, thoughts of the future, about how or what will become of us, or even others could really borther us so much.. but one thing for sure, why worry for tomorrow when you haven fully enjoyed yourself to the fullest today? i am sure you wouldnt want to live every single day with regret or with hurts of yesterday?
A smile wouldnt end everything. A precious friend and mentor ever once told me this: if you dont feel like smiling, then you dont have too. we are all human, if we are not strong for this moment, rest and regain strength to get up. if we feel hurt, leave no grounds to nurse the pain, but setting on the eyes of what you would look forwad to. A more meaningful and fulfiled life.
there, I will smile again with you.
Just a few of you guys, i have been reading your blogs.. though i might seem silent, but i do feel heartache for all of you as you do. sometimes i pray i can be more sensitive to the words that i say to everyone around me, so i wouldnt hurt anyone or seem who i dont seem to be.
If you have been searching for a listening ear, may this entry prove you right that i have been listening, to the silent cries coming out from your blog entries.
Here i am.
and my shoulders are for you.
Brethen, i do not count myself to have apprehend; But one thing i do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press on to the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Phil 3: 13-14
i press on, not because i want to, thats because Jesus fights for me when i cannot myself. At least i know, there is someone who hears my cries when i thought no one did.
Because there are definately more things to look forward ahead, life is like a toilet roll. The faster it gets when its nearing the end, i hope our lives are not wasted over unhappy incidents but really being happy because there is someone who hopes you do! :)
vis
smiles*
5/10/2007 01:39:00 am
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