Captivating___

bursting in laugher
let me pass this joy to you

you must be strong
you must be strong

no matter how hard or how much
this dream will take you
you must be strong'

it must be the stars that shined tonight
reminded me that your light
shines my darkness into day
and when silence strucked us again
we fought it with silence once more.

a word that is closer to my breath
touches and dwells in the inner most of my soul;
singing a melody that unbreaks two indignified hearts
here we are,
at the crossroads once again.
---

i was watching this vcd about this guy liking this girl and yet he didnt got the courage to tell her so. she somehow understands this guy alot but there's this barrier between the both of them. the moment they meet each other they couldnt continue a conversation that much their hearts wanted them to. they felt something for each other, but what was holding them back then?
i hope its not time.
haha if i can change the plot, i didnt know what i would do either. sounds so complicated but yet life is in this way.

vis smiles*
9/29/2006 02:10:00 am

+++++++++

= great outing day! =

this day was made special cos most of the members made it happen and of course happening.
and definately these people made it furthermore awesome:

jare, denesh, hanyu, jiaxi, fanfan, shermin and chron(aka superbong) lol.

not forgeting sister cat and her beloved cg members! they're equally awesome people.
=))

Bowling was awesome with my PROUD lowest record but yet, a BREAKTHROUGH of 23points!
yeah! its made possible with the patience guidance of jenn. ( btw, i got 23 points, not that i increased by 23...) haha! still, iam happy cos there's progress! it was 18 last time!

the steamboat was a much awaiting one, after a whole day you could have imagined how hungry these crazy people can be? though it would be better if you were here*

that usher, zhiwen was super funny la! he was the one who was supposed to recuit me into usher ministry but now i'm already in choir. wad a long long story... I mean, they ate 9 big bowls and big bowls of "hum" ->> shell like stuff u in char kuay tiao & laksa.
and the heads gid and sister cat's table was super funny too: their soup base was meant to be plain chicken soup, but in the end it tasted herbal! they kept adding chinese herbs like danggui, gougizi, baimuer, red dates bla bla.. take all the good food sting ray. LOL so value for money, * raise my thumbs up.

and i realised something; alecia is abit like me! =)

bihui, u will noe how to tag one la! lol

* cant wait to see the pictures.

---

vis smiles*
9/25/2006 02:02:00 am

+++++++++

Rod back to study. got degree. so happy. cant forget. still remember. with my rifle and my buddy and me.

having more portion on the camera! ahh!

rooftop.

"orh" geisha

so random! majie rocks!

vis smiles*
9/23/2006 03:01:00 am

the one thing i ask
is to be with You.

sometimes i just wished i dont have to go
but the winds are calling
the cries of the walls of great wall is calling
the streams and oceans across this country land
will prepare the way for the Risen One
yellow skinned and black haired,
standing tall standing strong, standing in awe
Red is the colour over this land
a land You desire and love for

its not my will but Yours be done
even when I'm weak sometimes
please tell me you'll be strong
assure me with this special strength
so i'll carry on.

He's my feet when I can't move on.

i still...
hope you'll sing the song when i'm gone.
"for just one more moment with you"

[sometimes time will treat you bad
before you even know whats wrong
in the end it hits you hard
please tell me you'll be strong. ]

for miss chanbihui, be strong and smile!! next yr's birthday can be a happier one (tentatively) haha!

vis smiles*
9/23/2006 01:48:00 am

+++++++++

= Your hands =

Everything is in His hands of love.

A very brave decision Matilda.
I managed to do it, face it and manage it.
lay down my crowns before You

trusting You all the days of my life.
You lead me to the rock higher than I am.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storms
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still
Know You are God.

I'm free.
=))

vis smiles*
9/22/2006 01:38:00 am

+++++++++

= when in doubt, smile. =

faded memories that were captured
i wonder if u were captivated
felt u were walking away
but somehow rather
i felt your presence lingering somewhere

words are too inadequate
and songs could be too complicated
to describe this undesciptable feeling
that is lingering and wavering

i wished i could have let go
i wished i could have told u so
i wanted to hold u close too
and never to let you go.

if i told you its not a mistake
its not wrong
to feel so weak when you should be stong
i am watching you from afar
and praying for wings to lift you up no matter
where you are.

vis smiles*
9/20/2006 11:56:00 pm

+++++++++

= Here I am =

I stand on higher ground
I was lost
But now I'm here with You

during your younger days, i wonder if u have ever encounted being lost in a shopping center losing touch with your parent, all alone.
and you'll felt so incsercure and scared because you simply couldnt see your parent.
in the end, you might start wailing, start crying, or even yelling loudly.

sometimes in our world today, we might feel so lost. wondering where you are actually heading to. some of you might know, some might not. some might even be on a "waiting" period of your life, some may be laid back, some maybe anxious, some may not even care.

there are some of you who are rebellious against your parents. you just simply cant stand the way your mum nags you to do housework or how your parent asks you to study hard.
put yourself into thier shoes. there's an emotional barrier. you thought: "we're almost 30 years apart! they dont know how I think wan la"!
Neither do you know how they think towards you right?

some of you havent felt love by your family at all. there isnt love coming out from your father, there isnt love coming out from your mother. you seek love from your boyfriends or your girlfriends and you 'thought' it is love, or you might feel loved and you might have tried getting into a relationship or gotten into relationships that were made not right in the first place. But nothing seems to work out at the end of the day, and end up getting both parties hurt. let me tell you this, someone out there knows that I am talking about him/her.

I was lost but now I'm found.

He is just like a Father who's so worried about you when you experience all this.
ever wonder why life was so hard till now?
so you would run back to His warm loving arms again, crying out to Him
" I need You back in my life"
and He'll be too glad to say
" I never left. you did. "

remember--

I stand on higher ground
I was lost but now I am here with You.

you may be a lost child without a Home now, wondering which Home to go. where to head towards to. But i assure you with this Great Love, that you wont regret it one single bit. wont you come back?

this is not preaching.
it is so urgent to hear you say yes, once again.

vis smiles*
9/17/2006 04:53:00 pm

+++++++++

= Always =

its been a great talk huiling and old kwok! i didnt noe so much about this sweet couple till yesterday. and thanks old kowk, true love has been a song playing on my mind and you send it just so in time. i am glad, you have gladly found ur true love and its celin and not cecilia!! haha! so sorry about it.

this made me recall what Dr A R Bernard had preached before regarding the stages of intimacy of relationships. it all starts from stangers to aquaintance to friends and it goes on. sometimes i just somehow find you and i collide. have you ever?

--
sometimes its wrong to walk away
though you think its over
knowing there's so much more to say.
the moments gone
im still holding on somehow
wishing i could change the way the world goes round
--

sometimes i just want to be still, and know that He is God.

i just wished i wont waver infront of you. but i failed to do so. i still wished the best out of you, i dont know how i can help you in anyway. sometimes i just feel rather helpless. but remember, i am always with you.

--
Let all that I am praise all that He is today.

I stand on higher ground
I was lost but now I'm here with You

Faithful One,
Holding on
I am always here with You.
---

vis smiles*
9/16/2006 11:49:00 pm

+++++++++

= results day =

Matilda, I've gotten back my results today.
was woken up by an sms from Np.
How would you expect mavis to react to a results slip with
3 C+
1 B+
and 1 Distinction?

????

--

rejoice!! Thank God for His unfailing love and grace upon my life and the late nights doing, and His wonderful Spirit who never fails to remind me of His goodness.

A new book hot in my bag which I am reading now everyday. The fear of the Lord. its an eye-opener and it teaches me alot of new good stuffs! its under the recommended books section at Life Bookshop. So, if you're in searching for a book, maybe this one will be good. =)

----
the pouring rain awakes my slumbering mind.
the cool breeze breathes upon my soul
i gazed at the frame outside the window
a picture of Liberty.
a cry of freedom is awaiting.
Be set free, today.
---

I just pray the you O and A levelers will shine to your very max! Its been tough, but He will never put us in a situation whereby we cannot bear.

Ps: idychanbihui, blaming me for not helping you to do the blogskin arh ? lol Give me ur password and ur username la. come i do for u la.. anyway, i know which specs guy u are talking abt. He only talk to YUQIN and YOU. he never wants to talk to me. see!! He brightens your day? oh haha.. the office is like a battleground, lets continue to battle against sian-ness bah.

Anyway, Lets shoot! 2 in Channel u did talked about a very interesting topic yesterday night.
About singapore male marrying wives from oveseas ( including vietnam, china, cambodia, indonesia) from agencies. is this a trend? or is it beacuse that women in this aura are too highly educated for men? could it be, the female is higher educated than the male? would a difference in education level make such a big difference in communication? Or the money that the wife brings back is actually more than the husband - how would the husband or how would others see upon this? really love talkshows. they make me stretch my brains and go into analyzing. If i ever have kids, I'll encourage them to watch more of these kind of shows! =)

and i am still giggling at miss idychanbihui at her blog address. LOL so sorry.

I missed wearing school uniform. badly. =(

vis smiles*
9/15/2006 11:13:00 am

+++++++++

= keeping on =

Psalm 103:2 NLT

Let all that I am priase the LORD; may I never forget the good things He does for me.
--

Let all of me, praise all of Him.
===================================

I've finished reading my captivating book and i was truly ministered and learned alot from it. I would really like to praise the female authour for the courage of writing a book as it is her first time doing so. And i truly want more courage in my life well. Dont tell me where i already had courage, tell me where i need to have more. =))

Life has been at a " so far so good" pace. Been making loads of phonecalls hundereds of them in fact. haha, I've learn to be more steady in making phonecalls and connecting people. well, though its 6hrs of work only but its a job that cant kill time the most. =s Yuqin.. haha u are seriously warned. LOL and i really think that economy is so bad that you cant promote savings plans now!

" for every $100 you save monthly, you'll get back $500 at the end of every year* "
any girls/guys 18 and above interested in savings and earnings can come to me.and i'll tell you more =)) thats what i handle every day.

I am taking to Jare now and i realise that we had something in common. We love Zhang Zhen Yue! and HAHA, we are tuning in to the same songs and repeating the same songs and listening the same kind of stuffs until we verify with each other! Boss, You made this world in sucha cool manner la!

iam all crazy for ZZY again. and not forgetting WUBAI~!!
and SHE~!!! :P :P:P dont care abt me ler

vis smiles*
9/14/2006 02:25:00 am

+++++++++

= The North wind and the Sun. =

The North Wind and the Sun had an argument one day. They disputed which of them was the stronger. A traveler came along the road at that time, and the Sun suggested a way to resolve the argument. Whoever was able to cause the traveler to remove his coat would be the stronger. The Wind accepted the challenge and the Sun hid himself behind a cloud.

The Wind began to blow. Yet the harder he blew, the more the traveler clutched his coat about himself. The Wind sent rain, even hail. The traveler clung even more desperately to his coat. Finally, in despair, the Wind gave up.

The Sun came out and began to shine in all his glory upon the traveler. Quite soon the man had removed his coat.

"How did you do that?" asked the Wind.

"It was easy." said the Sun.

" I lit the day. Through gentleness I got my way."

( "The North Wind and the Sun")

vis smiles*
9/12/2006 11:13:00 am

+++++++++

= more than that voice =

Matilda, i here again. what more can i say to replay that very close embrace?

Is 54:1-3 --- thanks max! it means alot to me =)

v3: For you shall expand to the right and to the left, and Your decendants will inherit the nations, and make desolate cities inhabited.

indeed, i stand before Him, singing singing and singing. the joy has come into my heart.
a new joy,a new breath, a new touch, a new side of Him, a new easy burden, a new love, a new worship, a new song and a new covenant. what a refreshing moment it was.

Conviction. =)

a new nation that come forth so strongly into my heart. china. i felt you i am coming for you and He is coming for you! 5months, let this 5moths be so fulfiling.

someone ever told me this : " when you fall just try again, even when tears fall down like rain, never give up! then you'll know what living a life of fulfilment is"

So let me... let me be like what i am called to be.
here i am once again.

[set my feet in Your ways, to live worthy of Your call]

vis smiles*
9/11/2006 12:49:00 am

+++++++++

= Indulging for beauty =

Got this from a beauty blog.. and i think its time i take care of my brushes too! :)

Caring for Your Makeup Brushes

Our makeup brushes actually do more work then we�d ever know. We count on them to put on our makeup on perfectly, yet we don�t really appreciate them or care for them. Five minutes, a few times a month is all you need to do to keep them clean.
Here are a few tips on caring for your makeup brushes:
Wash your brushes a few times a month.
If you have oily skin or use liquid or cream foundations and eye shadows, wash them every 2 weeks
Use a mild shampoo (baby shampoos) to wash your makeup brushes.
Apply the shampoo in the palms of yous hands and sweep the makeup brush around your palm in the shampoo til you get a soapy, foamy texture.
Rinse out,(don�t use hot water) and then squeeze the water out with a towel
Reshape your brushes
Make sure that the makeup brushes, when drying, are faced down - the perfect thing to do is to place it over a counter or table edge.
Don�t leave your makeup brushes to dry upright, because the water can seep through and weaken the glue that holds the bristles.

Clean makeup brushes not only make your makeup colors look better on you, but it prevents bacteria and germs growing that can, unfortunately get on your face! Also, cleaning your brushes and taking care of them would make them last longer as well.
Shu Uemura and MAC are known to make some excellent brushes! ))

i want to get this fragrance if i really prosper! cos itss So nice! :D love anna Sui's secret wish too. =))

Dolly Girl on the Beach. brought to you by Anna Sui

vis smiles*
9/08/2006 01:14:00 am

+++++++++

= How do I live without You? =

How do I live without You?
How do I ever, ever survive ?
How do I , how do i live...

I don't know either.

His grace and mercy has truly go before me and cover me totally all along. Sometimes, i just wanna say, I am not perfect. I may not seem perfect either. But i really want to be a better person. it might be the 1001 time you could have heard this, but itsnt this life all about? We tend to err here and there, come to a point to make decisions. And life comprises of the decisions we make; spouses get married to each other, someone just changed a new job, a family just went on vacacion and the list goes on.

I almost lost my temper today. Due to a phone call. I guess, i will press on to this current job and really really allow myself to adapt to rejections and unexpected situations. HaiSing, dont you think so? haha He said yes. LOL and thank you jenn~!! you'll know.

well, actually today i was out with fang and feli at plaza sing. hahhas i was showing them the messages that " you should never ever recieve from a good friend " and they simply shook thier heads as well. Thank God for great, loving and understanding members like the both of them and jenn is also so good to me! hahaha :P

and fen, is so good to me! thanks for ur sms-es and reminders.

and i bumped into tim and woon yong. tim. u cheer up ok?? u are still my best best best computer-english-chinese-dictionary. you'll be stronger, way stronger. =))

Some thoughts came to my mind, and i guess. its time to surrender them to the Lord.

And I surrender all to You
And I surrender all to You
when I'm weak
You are strong
You're my feet
when i cant move on.
You're the light in the dark
You're the whispher inside my heart.

vis smiles*
9/07/2006 12:12:00 am

+++++++++

= I was sick :( =

matilda, yesterday was a whole full day of combat battle on the physical realm for me.
My body didnt seem like mine; it went the way it wanted to go.
A total of 11hrs in discomfort, feeling nauseous giddy and felt like vomitting the whole day but i couldnt get rid of that feeling. eww even after 1 dose of medication, things didnt get better. I was running a high fever instead.

But thank God, after the 11 hrs of long battle i got better today! hehee.. am suppose to meet melody and her friends for k-boxing today. And tomorrow I'm going to catch the devil wears prada with mali and fang. =)) wad a great day!

I shall update more when I'm back !

________________________________________
Change my heart O Lord
Make it ever true
Change my heart O Lord
May I be like You

You are the Potter
I am the clay
Mold me and make me
This is what i pray

vis smiles*
9/05/2006 12:23:00 pm

+++++++++

= Qian li zhi wai =

Memory by CATZ

midnight not a sound from the pavement,
has the moon lost her memory
she is smiling alone
in the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
and the wind begins to moan

burnt out ends of smoky days
the stale cold smell of morning
the street lamp dies
another night is over
another day is dawning

touch me
its so easy to leave me
all alone with the memory
of my days in the sun
if you touch me you'll understand what happiness is
and a new day has begun

________________________________________

matilda actually recalled her secondary school days back in year 1 in choir where she is bedazzled by this song, when she's still singing for melody in soprano. well, i guessed my vocal chords are hurt already. whether due to ncc or too much of the ktv screaming sessions, i guess i need to be obedient and get them back again.

promises are meant to be kept and not broken. when somone has forgiven you, you must try your best not to commit the same mistake again. promise me you wont do it again matilda.

the melody is still ringing in my head
it might go it might not, well i dont know.
trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

its more that a song.
a memory that wont fade away... so soon.

take all of me
my First Love forever You will be.
my greatest Destiny i cry out to Thee.

vis smiles*
9/04/2006 02:20:00 am

+++++++++

cam-whoring with george during choir prac.

missing everyone of u. haha nia is resting on me!

teacher's day in new pyss.

the 3 pink-"panthers"

majie's newly recuited member to my MA CLAN!

vis smiles*
9/03/2006 01:43:00 am

+++++++++

= calvary =

Life is my best teacher.

i am living for the truth.

"sometimes in life there might be no answers"
just learn to trust the arm of God and His heart.
He'll lead you somewhere. I dont know where, but somewhere safe.
A secret place.

Unlock that destiny, open that mystery
seeking for the one lost dream
which contains You and me
I was lost but now I'm found
now the world proclaims and resound
in the glory of Your presence
Your Majesty i sing, i sing, i sing
Sing of Your great Love and liberty
in You i've found a new me.

________________________

I want to fix more apppointments for my boss!!!
let me fix it fix it!!

anyway, my eye candy in the office is no longer candy alr HAHA.. yuqin.. aww u must be disappointed right. Idy actually says Albert looks like a prawn LOL

MOTIVATION TO WORK~~~~~

wo yao wo yao wo yao~~!!

vis smiles*
9/02/2006 12:17:00 am

+++++++++

= random entry =

i felt alot of the randomness in me today.
yesterday was real bad, you wouldnt want to know, but i shall just blog about it..
this guy which i called while doing telemarketing was actually quite harsh to me in his speech la.
he blamed my management for disclosing his particulars everywhere and stuffs. he did nothing wrong but his manner of saying things really made me felt like weeping.
its such a tough job. after calling hundereds of people only a few like 2 or 3 respond out of these 2 or 3, they might not even be keen to sign up the package at all. every single day i just thought of leaving lehs matilda! But then... COME ON LA! you think i will meh! this is not Majie liao ok!
Majie is soft hearted, but she doesnt give up easily. I must Press the ON button no matter what happens!!

Its really not the pay, serious. I am just helping my boss out. Though i call her boss, but i really treat her like a friend... just that our backgrounds are so different: one is in the working field. one is still studying. she thinks about hitting targets, hitting quotas, meeting clients, planning their fianances for them and managing her own time. however, we do have our commons. we are both women. we love shopping. we love food. lastly, we need to rest.

the working field is truly complicated, you'll get to see more faces, meet more people, most importantly know yourself even more.

I understood myself, i am not that perfect afterall, its just part of being human. however, being less of myself and more of Him is what i truly desire to be and become.

NOW.. what actually happened today was i actually went back to ping yi with the SKs and we had long john for lunch together at bedok. aww.. haha the nostagic feeling again. its always me who will make noise to go to dine at long johns everyday after school. The rest of the SKs would simply grumble that i made no sense eating long john almost every week. ( btw, thats how i manintained my chubby figure too LOL) they would always give me that - ________- "' face whenever i make noises. but today, they simply agreed to go Long John while I am actually drooling for qiu lian ban mian in my heart LOL.. awww qiu lian~~~~ i miss u sooo much! ur ban mian is sooo Q and ur soup is soo... yummy salty oily and filled with ikan Bilis!!

ok. stop that nonsense. haha back in Ping Yi, almost everything changed. the building changed, the students changed, the teachers changed, the vice-principal changed, the atmosphere changed, in conclusion nothing i knew remain.

cheecheng was awesome! miss him to bits and pieces. haha i suddenly missed having physic lessons! " give me some money and I'll tell you" yes cheecheng!!

out of the 7 SKs, 4 arrived. but the level was maintained at high high high -->> daphne i think you are too loud. HAHA :p

told you this is a random entry... kind of no depth LOL so not my typical entry right!
matilda has gone on a holiday... she'll be back after 3 sunsets?? well. maybe lesser.

vis smiles*
9/01/2006 12:07:00 am

+++++++++
::achieves::
x July 2005 x August 2005 x September 2005 x October 2005 x November 2005 x December 2005 x January 2006 x February 2006 x March 2006 x April 2006 x May 2006 x June 2006 x July 2006 x August 2006 x September 2006 x October 2006 x November 2006 x December 2006 x January 2007 x February 2007 x March 2007 x April 2007 x May 2007 x June 2007 x July 2007 x August 2007 x September 2007 x October 2007 x November 2007 x January 2008 x February 2008 x March 2008