= You know, but he doesnt =
God.. You know.. But he doesnt. You know that I indeed feel something for him. You know that i love him. God... you brought me this far and now its sort of like i know i am turning in rounds. This is like a merry-go-round ride. I can never find the ending of this. You brought me lifted up in my spirits when i soon realise that what we can often see is really not what we can really bear. But thank you, for making me stronger every single day.
I just dont want to get involved with someone new or someone else. I just want to wait. Because i believe that its given by you. I cannot bring myself to not love this person or not to think of this person. No matter how many times i earnestly prayed to forget about him, You just told me to go forward and comfort him. I know what i am doing. but he just doesnt know what i feel towards him. I never thought that things were a mistake beacause i know it will turn out to be what You want it to be one day. Its like i just.. cant help it. I am always a step late in terms of everything for him. I really wised that I can be there whenever he needs someone to be there. there is so limited things that i can really do for him.
I dont ask to be together with him. But thats my greatest wish of course. maybe lets say to spend my rest of my live with him. Am i crazy? I hope i am.. to say such kind of stuff. But God.. will this seed bear fruit? I never own a place in his heart. He loves to dig out of past memories. And i know, i am just a very small part of his memory. maybe till one day, if we dont see each other often.. he'll just forget about me. forget abt the things i have done for him.
I just ask that if i have a day... i really hope to spend it all with him. after everything, he'll just foget everything. for its too much for him to remember. his memory is so filled with other things than to contain me. i am beginning to wonder.. why am i still wasting time...wasting my time over him... but God.. i just want to trust in You..
vis
smiles*
10/14/2005 12:23:00 am
+++++++++
::achieves::
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