= No Longer I =
change me,
I dont wanna be the same
I don't wanna feel the weight of this world
Change me,
so i'll never be the same
Lord I wanna see the things that You see
All i see is you
You are the one I live for Jesus
You are the one I live for Lord ( x 2 )
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Yes indeed, it totally describes what i feel now
Lord, change me.. to another level
Bring me back
to Your courts
to my tears
to my submission
to my memories
to my hunger
to my ...
the me that you originated want me to be
Persecutions are coming,
on its way
Seeing the signs
Experiencing the effects
But no one can I trust except You
My only compass of my heart, my soul
Filling my breadth with Yours
is what i truly need
Entrusting Your courage to me
is what I belive in
Going forward
Smiling
Here
God
Soul keeper
Buddy
friend
My Dearest
I love You.
Lets start from where we begin
vis
smiles*
10/30/2005 11:01:00 pm
+++++++++
= Never stagnant =
Alrights..
My topic today shall be NEVER STAGNANT.
What is never stagnant in this world?
Well, plenty.
Water is hardly stagnant
Air is hardly stagnant
Sunlight is hardly stagnant
Shopping discounts are hardly stagnant
Almost evey area is hardly stagnant
But most important
God is never stagnant.
However, He only moves when we moves. Hence, i think i really need to move more in the spirit.Yes.
Today has been a not bad day. Quite fruitful. At least the sisters get to fellowship with one another. Haha, praise God with Idy joining us today.. but what a waste that mel can join us. Anyway, I guess that Idy must be rather depressed that she cant hear. really want to pray for her speedy recovery. and also for the new term in school. sounds exciting. New things are always exciting anyway. Does that applies to guys as well? NAHZ! WHO do u think i am. HAHA
Anyway thats not the main point. Cant just heck care about them lahs..
A brand new life on a brand new road, is ahead.
Newly formed
Newly written
Pages of new stories unfold,
revealed through time
distance in person but not in heart
nothing can ever tear us apart
only You can fill my heart
as all You can, Lords of Lords Kings of Kings
Mightily You reign over the universe
Holding every breadth every life in Your hands
Where i seek for Your embrace
In a hiding place,
that only belongs to us.
vis
smiles*
10/29/2005 12:58:00 am
+++++++++
= Radio Heatwave Audi =
Phew!!!
everything is really a phew.. My Dj audi is over.. It went off super well.. i didnt preapre script.. was about to intro myself but gave up the idea on it.. I felt that we should go for something with more substance. Yeah? HAHA.. and so.. i went on to talk about courage.... WHich links to my song.. its all a last minute decision.. wrote the key points about courage less than 15 mins before my turn when i was about to enter the room. The senior inside was almost making my heart pumping out !! Souded professional in a way.. and me.. yew... hahas being so lousy at those stuffs..
At the end.. I even forgot to off my mike and he offed for me.. But i spoke the shortest thing among all auditors.. But was glad that i didnt pause too long or something ? HOPE SO !!
that guy gave said alot of em em em agreeing with me when i talk .. if i didnt get in.. I'll find him i tell you ! Anyway.. time is money.. need to go off now.. shall update more again. =)
vis
smiles*
10/26/2005 12:22:00 pm
+++++++++
= Dj broadcasting audition is on =
Hm... in less than 10 hours, i am going for an audition soon.. TF asked me if i am nervous.. in fact i wasn't cos.. erm.. just dont know why.. but when you ask me to sing.. i am surely nervous.. NO LINK haha !!
Its really time to come down to be a prayer warrior. I believe that i can do it de..Really want to find my secret place..
I just dont know what topics to talk for tomorrow, but i'm sure that i will choose
zhang zhen yue's -- yong qi as my song. Meaning courage.
Courage is really very important to us.
the courage to live on
the courage to continue
the courage to forgive
the courage to forget
Whatever it is.. it takes courage. I truly hope that i can be of more courage. Yeaps ! Yeah !! i can finally join a ministry.. really look forward.. really pray that i wont have parental objections !
thats all i hope and wished for. Anyway, when God places you in something, He wont see you in a hard conditon.. HE will see you through. Not giving me a situation i cannot bear.
Well, last sat i asked my pals in class to join me for my cg bbq. The girls, melody and bihui sitting with me agreed on my invitation. Really thank God for their attendance. But i truly hope and pray that they can join us more often. It took me loads of courage to ask them.. seeing them everyday.. But i know, God will be supporting me. And i truly felt His presence throughout the while cg meeting.. it was awesome.. Perhaps Meldody couldnt understand, i was joking to her that i would explain it to her again. HAha, woooh.. its going to be another time of blessing man !!
Guanxian got a shy friend called yi heng if i am not wrong. He's really really very shy.. hahas but not too bad.. and we got a " NEW" additional cg member on that day .. haha the rest will understand what i mean. And guessed what.. he said that he's a "shidi" of mine in ncc.. Oh my tian.. HAHA.. He's been singing from the start of the cg, to the end of the cg, on the way to bbq.. and everywhere he goes.. -__-!! i met a competitor le..
Melody told me something funny.. saying to call me to forget the guy i like now.. she will find another one for me. HAHA, no la. .i joked. " must be as good as someone in the area of something" and she said i was pretty greedy.. but guesse that was what that made me attracted to that guy. Anyway.. i am going to let go.. so.. ahems. haha forget about it!
Working is pretty torturing for me. I began to not like the job. The bible says, where your heart is there lies your treasures.. iam thinking of something else during work.. impossible relationships and so on.. and i cant concentrate at work.. been making alot of mistakes.. alot of things at work went horribly wrong.. But i know God will turn it the other way for me.. =)
I know i will put him down one day.. =) LEts look up to Jesus ~!
vis
smiles*
10/25/2005 12:59:00 am
+++++++++
= Never easy =
Embracing the solitude.. For me, its a long awaited one.. Will i ever meet somone at the crossroads of my life ? God i leave it all to You..
it comes till today, that i got some senses. Only You look into our hearts, but human just doesnt.
Anyway, i not going to think so much ler la! Smile mavis !
During work today, his image and voice is just haunting me with echoes of his voice. Crazy!! its pretty distracting. God, i know You want me to walk out of this.. I know i can!
I just dont want to think about all those stuffs.. The more i'm involved the more i will get hurt.. I never own a place in the first place.. yeap... so Lord.... let me only look to You!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
really wanna shout man!! its super irrating! !His voice and image is haunting me !
Prayer changes things. I can be an overcome
vis
smiles*
10/21/2005 12:57:00 am
+++++++++
= Letting go =
Yos..
Blogging this time. =)
really hope that God's joy will be my strength forever in times of needs and distress.
I will bless His holy name and give Him praise.
I know that there are some areas in my life that i really need to let go. Its him.. the one whom i have been holding on to like a fool. God, indeed our education is our life, we must guard it well. At the same time, i would really like to guard my heart against all the various lions in life. Pastor kong preached a powerful message today. To be able to be a PRAYER WARRIOR. Indeed... we must not only be motivated in spirits, we must put it into actions! For faith without actions is dead. Not only we should be hearers but doers of the word. Applying God's word in our lives.
God, we are just ordinary people. We can never outgive You or be holier than You. Let us keep our eyes on Jesus when ever we are at out darkest moments. Run to Jesus and not Run from Jesus.
I am willing to let go. Let go this person whom i loved very much. And, this person is the only burden in my heart always. I find it rather stupid to think back about it. Worrying over his everyday, if he is able to complete his schoolwork, assessments, projects and if he has spend time with his family. I am really brooding too much into his life till the extent that i know i went overboard. I might think that i love him.. but.. God.. i can hardly express it now in words. Its over time that feelings are developed and will fade away. i trust in You Father that You will lead me through. Through all these craps and nonsense and wasted youth of mine of 5 years.
phew, just to add on.. i'll be veggie fasting this week!! cooooool!! super cool man .. hahas at first i was really cursing. But God forbid, God please cleanse my speech and make me have the right attitude! Your attitude in life is your Altitude in Chirst! anyway... ending here..
I WILL LET GO!! I WILL LET GO>!! +=D
vis
smiles*
10/16/2005 10:44:00 pm
+++++++++
= You know, but he doesnt =
God.. You know.. But he doesnt. You know that I indeed feel something for him. You know that i love him. God... you brought me this far and now its sort of like i know i am turning in rounds. This is like a merry-go-round ride. I can never find the ending of this. You brought me lifted up in my spirits when i soon realise that what we can often see is really not what we can really bear. But thank you, for making me stronger every single day.
I just dont want to get involved with someone new or someone else. I just want to wait. Because i believe that its given by you. I cannot bring myself to not love this person or not to think of this person. No matter how many times i earnestly prayed to forget about him, You just told me to go forward and comfort him. I know what i am doing. but he just doesnt know what i feel towards him. I never thought that things were a mistake beacause i know it will turn out to be what You want it to be one day. Its like i just.. cant help it. I am always a step late in terms of everything for him. I really wised that I can be there whenever he needs someone to be there. there is so limited things that i can really do for him.
I dont ask to be together with him. But thats my greatest wish of course. maybe lets say to spend my rest of my live with him. Am i crazy? I hope i am.. to say such kind of stuff. But God.. will this seed bear fruit? I never own a place in his heart. He loves to dig out of past memories. And i know, i am just a very small part of his memory. maybe till one day, if we dont see each other often.. he'll just forget about me. forget abt the things i have done for him.
I just ask that if i have a day... i really hope to spend it all with him. after everything, he'll just foget everything. for its too much for him to remember. his memory is so filled with other things than to contain me. i am beginning to wonder.. why am i still wasting time...wasting my time over him... but God.. i just want to trust in You..
vis
smiles*
10/14/2005 12:23:00 am
+++++++++
= Your joy is my strength =
yo!
recently got hooked onto watching the drama on channel u" prince turns into a frog" HAHA lousy direct translation i know. but i really feel that its nice ~~ and it made me teared abit ? To me, its rather touching.. You can chose to agree or disagree with me, but its really super nice. =)
Wednesday, its the middle of the week again.. I always feel rather funny on wednesdays.. its like being stuffed in the middle like a sandwich. Well, for my figure... i think i resemble a burger more heh! Its really time to get on to diets and exercises~ ! But one word.. HAIZ! Got what i mean? =p
oh man! Tim just shot me a good question on msn. Well, he asked me whats my bloodtype. Seriously, i really have no idea. i am like.. they never ask me to do any blood test or stuff like that when we make our identity cards. And one of his friend's mother got lukemia? Life is really vulnerable.. In the whole of this month, 4 person i know had someone in their family passed away. Natural disasters are so unpredictable too.. took away many innocent lives.. *sighs*
Human. mankind. Why ? Well, i know, who am i in a position to speak?
I just know that life is short. really want to live it well and if possible, leave without any worries. I believe i will =)
Anyway.. today had been a nice day overall. had enough sleep. till like 11am. HAHA Its really a nice sleep.. =) but this will end soon when school starts hahas.. so.. i really treasure this time yea. Anyway, to add on... there's still one person whom i cant keep off my mind.. *shakes head*
Jesus reigns.
vis
smiles*
10/12/2005 09:37:00 pm
+++++++++
= Its so near yet that far =
So many times in life we ever felt that life is just filled with moments which simply remind us of things that are SO NEAR YET THAT FAR.
yes, gotta agree totally. For the whole of last week i experienced that feeling so strongly. First was friday helping out at Eu yan Sang. Entering the place which is again familar yet new to me, feeling so filled with expectancy to stir up sales on that day. When we realised that we are way far off from our sales target. *shakes head*
Helping out the next day, which is also the day of my grand's birthday celebration, i was already pretty tired. due to the taxing hours of waking up 6++ in the morning and returning home round 11++. My legs just couldnt carry my weight anymore.. everything seems as heavy as i could actually imagined, feeling so dreaded at the beginning of the day with my manager with me. But after she left and after a moment, things just seemed to get better. I felt more encouraged despite the pouring of the rain upon my head and raindrops sliding down my cheeks. God, i know its You. =)
Despite the rain.. despite sales started at 11am, people started queueing at 7am. Congrats to the EYS retail. HAHA, but i am from clinic department. Anyway, i am a faithful worker. Had been going all out to promote the health check ups and services we have. Cholesterol test, liver test, glucose test, BMI , how can i address you, all these words hadnt depart from my lips since business had started that day. I was wondering, without much education can a person go far ? Well, we might never know.
Actually what greatly impacted me to wrote this entry was partly of the birdnest promotions. its like buy 1 get 1 free those kind.. and i didnt manage to purchase it for my mother. Really kind of regretted. But, its okay. God, i know i will get greater blessings from You ~!! The sad part is, i was only sitting right beside those bird nest and chicken essence on sale... * shakes head*
Anyway. another inciden, i shall briefly just write. its just about someone. Everytime i see this person i really know that we never belong to the same world. But i feel a feeling of attachment to this person. Till i realise, things may be right beside you. But the distance in the heart is so faraway. I truly want to get into this person's heart. But i know, there is no place for me. I've been trying hard to seach for a way to get in.. But i just know.. its so near, yet that far...
Jeusus, You're all i need ... Lover of my soul
vis
smiles*
10/10/2005 09:35:00 pm
+++++++++
= New yet seems Familiar =
Vis is here again.. =)
Today is a special day for me i suppose. My first day at work at a Lab. Wooh.. something got to do with Science stuff. But heh, stop allowing your imagination to run wild man. I am just a data entry clerk at the accounts department. =) working at a rather cold environment and yeap..
I remember my late grandma used to go there once. And while i was young i went there with her. The memory of me being there is like so faded and in bits and pieces. But really thank God for allowing me to pluck up that courage to work again, after slacking at home and being a full time maid at home, doing marketing.. hahas, its enough~ ! Human got to learn to pass on to different stages in life, and hence proceed on.
Hahas, the funniest thing i ever encountered was that most of the patients name that i have keyed in are either Indians or Bangadeshies.. I am not trying to imply anything here. But They really have long names and You bet.. They have creative names~ ! That hardly repeats.. I've come to know so much names in a day.. More to come tomorrow at work! hahas. anyway, I am glad and happy that i got myself a job.. and yes.. knowing more people..
School is opening soon. Really look forward to school and love school.. its the place where i really want to be. hee.. I hope I still can say words like these when school reopens!
Anyway, i didnt know which wire in my brain was connected wrongly recently that i am so determined in something. Ahems. haha. for me to know for u to find out. Been thinking over it.. and erm.. still thinking over it. Friends forever ~ !
Your ATTITUDE is your ALTITUDE.
Loving Him,
Vis
vis
smiles*
10/05/2005 12:28:00 am
+++++++++
= One more chance =
Indeed. I was very captivated by the title of Jack Neo's latest movie in town . Appreciating this movie alone in the theatre, i was deeply moved by the script of this entire flim. It speaks of 3 different stories of how 3 men got themselves into Changni Prison due to the mistakes that they have once committed. Its Conning(Mark Lee), Ilegal gambling & Vandalism(Chen Jian Bin) & Robbery (Henry Thia).
Though many people from English speaking families might think that this is just another ordinary Jack Neo flim, filled with Hokkien language which seem rather vulgar to the current society nowadays as we promote & <>. Hence, Hokkien language which is a familar language is slowly fading away in the limelight of English & in time to come, Chinese.
In fact out of the 3 stories, 3 perspectives of these 3 men, i was most deeply moved by Mark Lee's encounter in the flim followed by Henry Thia. Apart from seeing Changni Prison being brought alive to my naked eyes, I saw what is truly the theme of Father love, forgiveness & most importantly acceptance in the story of Mark Lee. Being sentenced to imprisonment for 10years bu the judge but the society sentenced him to death instead. Even his daughter at times felt so ashamed of having a father who had went to jail before.
Doing some reflections while I was alone, indeed i thought: have i been as ignorant as the daughter in the show in the past ? Maybe i had, but from today onwards... i really want to work towards accepting these people into the society. Again.. This movie reminded me that My God is such a loving God filled with mercy and forgiveness. Oh man... I am truly so blessed to have such a Good God.
The ending part at the church.. WOW.. I almost flood the whole cinema i told u.. we can perhaps swim there.. Hahas, i was SUPER touched by the moment the people took out their yellow ribbons, and i was again.. reminded of the story of the yellow ribbon.. Whereby the wife tied many yellow ribbons on the tree.. Oh man.. HAHA.. i think its super touching lors..
And indeed, after really walking with God.. i realised that now i need not put up a strong front anymore.. cos i am not made strong.. I cry when i feel that i need to cry.. Do not hold them back anymore.. its time to be how a girl should be! yeah!
Shall end here.. This is a super touching movie that will change many prejudice against people who have served a term of imprisonment before. And I can proudly say that I am proud of those people who really took every bit of his courage to stand up to face the society.
Really want to say to these Heroes of my heart.. You guys are really brave and I'll give you my total moral support !! As an individual, i accept people like you guys. Jiayou never give up.. God wants to use all of you in a great way..
vis
smiles*
10/01/2005 04:40:00 am
+++++++++
::achieves::
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